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A Journey of Anxiety in a Young Author

Hello again!

It's nice to be using my blog again. I know I've fallen off this blog here and there, and I know I can't keep letting myself do it. I always have excuses because of my life and what's going on in my life, but if I let those excuses control me, my life will just keep flying by in a busy blur. And busy blur weeks turn into busy blur months and then busy blur years. Nobody wants that kind of life.

Now that I'm getting back to my blog, I've gone back to look at some of my post, and all those posts make me want to do is slink back into my chair and shut the computer. Man was I young and naive when I wrote those posts, but whether those posts are mistakes or dumb, they're me. It's not like I'm going to delete them now because there's no point. Everyone has to start from somewhere.

The same thing goes for my writing. Every once in a while I'll open an old file of one of my earlier works, and I can't help but laugh! Oh my, the writing was so atrocious, and I used to think it was good. But like I said above, you have to start somewhere, otherwise you'll never get anywhere.

The sad thing is that that kind of thinking does follow me into my new work, and you can get stuck in the mindset of perfectionism. And by perfectionism, if you're an aspiring author like me, it means going over your work again and again and again and again. It gets to the point where you drive yourself insane. Part of the reason I feel this way was due to a forum I joined a few years ago, but have since abandoned due to the cliques that formed in it. All I ever kept reading was that any little mistake could cause an agent to stop reading your book.

It's true to an extent, but at the same time, not the way they make it sound. I mean, if you have so many grammatical mistakes in your novel that you submitted to the publishing world that it's silly, yeah you're going to ruin your chances. But say you have a stellar plot with a few blemishes along the way, that is in no way going to destroy you. We're all human. You can't tell me that J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series was 100% perfect when she pitched it out into the agent world. Because guess what? Nobody is perfect!

And that's what we need to remind ourselves. Because it is hard to let our novels go because we think it needs to be perfect.

Give it to some critique partners. Let some people read and give their thoughts. As long as their isn't a glaring boil that every single person is pointing out, then it's time to let it go and send it out into the world.

Everything we write can be better, and all the novels we write in the future could be better. But if we don't stop, then nobody will ever read our work, and it'll never make it out into the world.

Just remember: Perfection isn't human.

-Kai

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