Hey everyone! (Warning long post ahead!)
So I know you may wonder why I drop off the face of the planet for a few months and then reappear only to disappear again. If you've read any of my posts, you will know that I suffer a lot of health problems. Kinda sucks since I'm so young! But I guess poor eating habits will get anyone.
I just wanted to finally explain what is exactly wrong with me, and why I drop off this blog for months. I feel like you guys need an explanation.
Obviously for years I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I suffer from digestive issues that make it very very hard for me to gain weight (I'm borderline underweight). I always thought I was crazy half the time as I grew up, that maybe I just wasn't meant to gain weight.
I started suffering from rosacea about 6 years ago and along with that came the awful PMS. And I mean, God awful. My periods often put me in the worst misery to the point where I cry for three hours on the first day. It's not fun, not at all. I do, however, know what's causing it so I will get to that soon enough.
But when I started getting those awful cramps, the only way I could deal with them would be to take painkillers. I mean, I would miss school once a month if I didn't so I felt like I had no choice. Well, bad for me, nobody ever told me to NOT take painkillers on an empty stomach! And usually I'd end up taking them in the mornings when my appetite was at its lowest.
Fast forward four years later, these painkillers ended up ruining my stomach lining. I have developed ulcers as a result of taking painkillers so stupidly. But don't take this as a "I won't get ulcers if I don't take painkillers on an empty stomach" because that's not true either. They can and will cause ulcers. You just won't get them as easily if they're taken with food.
How did I know I had an ulcer? I didn't. Not for almost three years. I would research and research day after day trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. Why didn't I go to a doctor? Because doctors have never listened to me, and I knew they'd just prescribe me with medications that would only cover the problem instead of fixing them. (The pharmaceutical business would be out of business if they cured your problems.)
So every day, I would suffer God awful burning pains in my stomach to the point where I couldn't eat all day. Which would make it all the worse because then my stomach acid would churn even harder because I wasn't eating nearly enough. Not fun guys. Not fun at all. It was the most vicious cycle I've ever been through.
And then I learned my ulcer(s) were bleeding. I wasn't sure about it at first because usually most people identify blood in their stools as red or black. I never had that happen to me, but I did have coffee ground looking things in mine which I could never find answers to. That is until I learned that if blood mixs with stomach acid that it will turn into what looks like coffee grounds.
You could only imagine how low of an iron count I must've had. And to make matters worse, I think my PMS pains started because I got super low on iron. That's the only conclusion I've ever been able to make. Because when I suffer those awful pains every month, they are the exact symptoms of iron anemia.
I've been living in one big vicious cycle all my life, and it took me this long to figure it out.
I'm now trying my best to correct my diet and use supplements to my advantage in order to heal this ulcer. Along with that, I am doing my best to keep my iron levels up.
It's been one long rough road, and I hope to see a light at the end.
I'll also be querying my novel (hopefully) this month, so who knows. Maybe this will be the year my life turns around, and I can finally feel happy.
So now you know why I disappear and hopefully I will keep you guys updated more. Both on my writing adventures and my health.
Thanks for reading through this and understanding.