"Let thy Food be thy Medicine and thy Medicine be thy Food" - Hippocrates

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Confessions of an Aspiring Author

Lately, I've been feeling pretty down. All I ever think about is becoming an author, but I'm afraid that my work won't live up to the standards I've set for myself. I have no other goals to accomplish. Only becoming an author. I did not go to college because I have no want/reason. If I went, I'd cause myself a load of depression that's un-needed.

I currently work at a movie theatre, but I feel like it takes up all my time. And customers are absolutely horrid. They're so rude, and I just can't handle it anymore. Plus, I know that if I continue working there, it won't get me anywhere in life. But if I quit, I'll have no job and my parents will flip.

I'd love to just focus on writing, especially if I get an agent, but even if that happens, I'm afraid things won't turn out as expected. That means I'd have to keep my job.

All these thoughts spin me into a whirl of depression, and I can't figure out how to get myself out.

I just wish I could do what I wanted to do. If I snag an agent, I would for sure quit the movie theatre because an author career could take me higher places if I work hard enough for it.

5 comments:

  1. This is me EXACTLY! *get ready for a long reply, lol!* I think of becoming published every single day, hundreds of times throughout the day. It's the dream that keeps me going, and helps me make it through work. I've been in the same field for the last ten years, and I can't tell you how burnt out I am. But quiting isn't an option(money!) and it makes no sense for me to change professions- I'm five mins from home, have seniority, and get three weeks of vacation a year plus personal time. But I'm so OVER it! I want to get to stay home w/my kidlet and write. And be paid for it. ;) I just try and remind myself every day to be thankful for a steady job and keep believing that one day I'll make my dream happen. And I hope it happens for you one day as well! *hugs*

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    1. Thanks so much for this. Sorry I didn't see this sooner. I'm on/off with this blog due to working so much. I hope we both succeed. It's better to try than never try at all. *hugs back*

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  3. Oh guys I literally feel the same way. And like you Leandra, I'm about to finish my final year in school and I'm not looking forward to working. I remember how internship takes your whole time and how you get tired when you get home. I wish I didn't even have to bother, but you know you have no option because you have to work to earn money and take care of yourself. I've been feeling so down, because then you become so desperate for this dream that it seems like nothing positive is going to happen.

    But I'm so glad I came upon this post, Kai, it was a relief in a way. The only thing we can do is keep working hard guys.

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    1. That's why we need to keep at it. Because you never know what can happen. It's better to have tried and failed rather than never failed at all.

      And like one of my CPs told me: If you don't sweat some tears and hard work in the process, then you'll have nothing to show off in the end.

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